Mark Plays ‘Dragon Age: Origins’: Hour 29

In the twenty-ninth hour of Dragon Age: Origins, I meet Branka and discover (part) of Shayle’s origin. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to play Dragon Age: Origins.

Hour Twenty-Nine

This game is great. Have I said this enough times? I’ll say it again: THIS GAME IS GREAT. I was eagerly looking forward to getting to clock in another five hours of Dragon Age not only to discover more of the story, but because it’s nice to actually have a handle on how to play it. I know I’ve mentioned that quite a few times before, but I can safely say that I am no longer nervous about being able to understand the mechanics of gameplay. I know where all the menus are, I understand how to best use tactics, I can appreciate the complexity of the party system, and I really, really, really need to replay this game as a mage because I CAN’T STOP SWITCHING TO MORRIGAN AND USE HER TO DESTROY EVERYONE. My god, it’s so fun! Why don’t I have weeks of free time available so I can just play this game over and over again?

Thankfully, I got SO MUCH DONE this hour. I didn’t die once, I destroyed everything, I never got stuck, and I had my brain melted by a couple plot twists I never saw coming. Shall we?

• So, first of all, it was time to go after the Anvil of the Void. Would I be able to make a golem army? The thought was too exciting.
• As my party was walking down a passageway, Oghren said (of Branka), “She will not be unprepared!” Oh my god, this game is making fun of me.
• Honestly, given how many fucked up story lines I’ve come across in this game, I was genuinely shocked that Branka was alive and human. I thought she’d be some sort of mutant! I was trying to be prepared, shut up.
• Wow, Branka gives absolutely no fucks about anyone at all.
• Oh, seriously? You’re going to recruit my party to get past the traps and disable them by trapping me in this place? You are totally appreciating the irony of this, aren’t you, Branka?
• I decided to chat to Shale because I figured they were excited about meeting more golems in the near future. Instead, Shale made fun of me, offered to recite dirty limericks about slaughtering pigeons, and generally was full of sass. You have no idea how happy I am that Shale is around. CRUSH THE HEADS OF EVERY OPPONENT.
• With the exception of the last room, the traps were very easy. I actually checked to see if I’d forgotten to change the difficult from Casual because it was so unchallenging. Nope. Must mean I AM AWESOME. So, I quickly conquered the first room full of golems, then the second one that added blade traps, then the third with the poison gas, and then made it to that super weird room with the anvils and the Forgotten Spirits. That was definitely more challenging, and Oghren died during this part. Still, I was able to dominate it in less than five minutes. HELL YES.
• And then I got to the final room. And discovered Caridin was still alive. And he was A GIANT GOLEM.
• Oh, he knows Shayle.
• WAIT HOW DOES HE KNOW SHAYLE?
• WHAT
• WHAT
• WHAT THE FUCK!!!?!?!?
• CARIDIN MADE SHAYLE
• SHAYLE IS ACTUALLY A WOMAN. SHAYLE OF HOUSE CADASH. OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS INCREDIBLE
• HELP ME
• NO, I ALREADY LOVED SHAYLE, BUT NOW I ADORE SHAYLE.
• Thank you to each and every one of you who told me to play the Stone Prisoner DLC before I finished Orzammar. You just made my WEEK.
• oh.
• oh wait
• WAIT.
• “To make my golems live, I had to take their lives from elsewhere.”
• FUCK
• WHY DIDN’T I EXPECT A SUPER FUCKED UP TWIST
• I SHOULD HAVE
• JESUS
• Given the choice, it was easy to imagine which of the two options that Roslin would go for. I’ve been playing her as a tough-as-nails rogue who empathizes with those who are oppressed and demeaned in life, so once it was clear that Branka wanted to use the Anvil regardless of the consequences, I knew I’d have to oppose her.
• Oghren called her a NUG-TAIL. Oh my god.
• MORRIGAN. SHUT UP. SHUT UP, YOU HAVE TO KILL A PERSON TO MAKE SOMEONE A GOLEM. NO, I’M NOT GOING TO USE THIS POWER.
• Well, I lost an approval point from her.
• OGHREN, WHY DID I LOSE TEN APPROVAL POINTS FROM YOU? YOU WERE JUST AGREEING WITH ME ABOUT MY PLAN OF ACTION!!!! WHAT THE FUCK.
• This battle against Branka was much more difficult than I expected, but I managed to keep Shayle and Roslin alive. Damn, they make an excellent team.
• OMG, Caridin is making me a crown! That shit is majestic.
• No, dude, what are you doing over there?
• NO.
• NO, DON’T JUMP OFF. COME WITH ME.
• NO WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF???
• :(
• Well, that was depressing as hell. And now Oghren gains +7 to approval for Caridin’s suicide. Oghren, you’re fucking weird.
• Oooh, I found a golem registry!
• After all of this, I decided to chat with Shayle, who must have been bursting with excitement about everything she’d learned. This was a good choice, because not only was I right, I found out THERE IS ANOTHER LOCATION IN THE DEEP ROADS THAT I CAN TRAVEL TO. Am I going to Cadash Thaig? You bet I am.
• Cadash Thaig is SO BRIGHT. I almost thought the contrast on my TV was fucked up. But once I got out of the main hallway, things adjusted better. This city appeared to have once been lush and green, overflowing with plants and moss. What happened to it? Why are there no people around?
• I got swarmed by a pack of deepstalkers. There were so many of them! And they’re kind of cute, no?

My hour ran out just after I took care of the deepstalkers. I guess I’ll have to find out what happened to Cadash Thaig in the next hour!

My Character Stats

Strength: 27+4
Dexterity: 25+8
Willpower: 21
Magic: 14
Cunning: 21
Constitution: 25

Heroic Stats

Kills: 563
Damage dealt: 124311
Friendly-fire: 0
Greatest damage dealt: 90
Contribution to party damage: 30
Hit rate: 87
Most powerful foe slain: Revenant
Injuries: 19

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