Mark Plays ‘Portal 2’: Chapter 5 – The Escape

In the fifth chapter of Portal 2, Wheatley helps you escape from GLaDOS. Technically, that’s not false. I mean, that’s a correct assessment technically. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to play Portal 2.

Chapter 5: The Escape

What the FUCK????

Gameplay

ASK, AND I SHALL RECEIVE.

In chapter 5 of Portal 2, the gameplay and the story telling are deeply intertwined in one another. This is not just figuring out a puzzle. You’re accelerating the plot. Despite that I viciously side-eye the use of people of color in the Uncharted series, I can’t deny that one of the true joys of playing those games comes from the fact that you’re playing a film. Well, it feels like that. And this sort of directional motivation is all over this chapter. I’m just amazed that this also doesn’t feel like the final level of Portal. It really doesn’t! There are similarities, sure; the curtains are peeled back on the game, but you can tell that the people who made this did not want to repeat the same experience.

Still, these are puzzles, aren’t they? You have to figure how to navigate out of certain spaces. It took me at least a couple minutes to figure out what to do in this room:

A screenshot of a room with a complex network of air tubes and lots of metallic, gray storage bins.

I TOTALLY DID IT, THOUGH. Oh god, this is all so great. I got to catch a damaged turret in mid-air, I got to slice through the tubes leading out from the device that produced the neurotoxin, and then… actually, let me address that ending in the story part. It’s more applicable there.

Characters

OKAY, HOLY SHIT, THERE IS SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN THIS CHAPTER. First of all, WHEATLEY WAS CREATED SPECIFICALLY TO GIVE GLaDOS BAD IDEAS. Oh my GOD, there was an existing rivalry/sense of hatred between GLaDOS and Wheatley AND MY BRAIN CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS. I didn’t think there was any foreshadowing for this at all, and it totally took me completely by surprise. SO FUCKED UP.

But seriously, Wheatley became overwhelmed by the power he possessed, AND NOW HE’S THE ANTAGONIST. I can’t believe this. So now that GLaDOS is a FUCKING POTATO, what the hell does that mean for that character??? GLaDOS got beat down into that tube with Chell.

I can’t. I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS.

Music

I DIDN’T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THE MUSIC THAT WAS PLAYING DURING THE BIG BATTLE SCENE BECAUSE MY BRAIN COULD ONLY HANDLE THE PLOT AND NOTHING ELSE. It must have been good? Oh god, I THOUGHT I’D REACHED THE END OF THE FUCKING GAME. h e l p.

Graphics

I just adore the design of the “backstage” area of the chambers. There’s a particular screenshot I took to demonstrate how brilliant this was:

A screenshot of a narrow hallway with a VERY high ceiling. Hallway is lined with many metallic storage units.

What’s great about this is how mechanical, metallic, and proper it all seems. When I first got a glimpse of the machine that ran the facility in Portal, everything was rusted and decaying. Now, though, this is a well-operated and well-maintained network of pistons and automation. What the hell happened? It’s totally not what I expected. I will also choose to remain completely creeped out by rows and rows of those fucking weird ass robotic pieces. this is my CHOICE. How great are all the air tubes that transport the turrets and cubes? Oh god, this is so pretty and futuristic, and you can tell how much love was put into the details.

Story

;aklsdfjasd;lkfjasd;flkjasdf;lk SO MUCH BACKSTORY IN ONE CHAPTER. I don’t know how I didn’t realize that installing Wheatley into GLaDOS’s core would be a REALLY BAD IDEA, but you know what? That’s what is so fun about this plot twist. This chapter is called “The Escape,” but it is a lie. I should just accept that this game will lie to me multiple times, BUT OH WELL. So what else don’t I know about the origin of Aperture and GLaDOS? Did I miss some other important details in that part of the facility that had all the science projects? Because that was definitely a hint towards GLaDOS’s fate. Oh shit, am I going to have to team up with GLaDOS now???

This game fucking rules so much, everyone.

Highlights

DUH. ALL OF IT. Actually, I took a lot of screenshots for this chapter, so let’s go through them!

A screenshot of a dark passageway lit only be a single light overhead. There are lots of pipes and it is scary as fuck.

The first half of “The Escape” is really creepy. I know this isn’t Silent Hill or an underground bunker in Fallout 3, but I still kept expecting something awful around every corner. WELL-PLAYED.

A screenshot of a dark, bluish room with air tubes transporting glowing cubes.

THIS ROOM IS SO GORGEOUS.

A screenshot of a automated device that assembles turrets!

I’m not going to lie to you, friends. I sat here and watched three of these be assembled. IT WAS REALLY COOL.

A screenshot of a turret testing room, where a thing that looks a lot like a crash test dummy is being shot at.

hey this isn’t creepy at all right

right

totally not creepy

A screenshot of a darkened air tube with NEON CONFETTI IN IT.

LOOK IT’S THE CONFETTI FROM “THE SURPRISE” this got me really excited okay

A screenshot inside of an air tube! Wheatley is in front of Chell, and then there are tons of those white, metallic arm things WHAT ARE THEY

Is this like a HIVE of CREEPY SHIT?

A screenshot of the inside of a well-lit, but small chamber where THE WALL IS COMING APART AND IS GOING TO CRUSH ME.

Hello, fellow gamers. Let me just straight up admit that once I came to that gaping chasm, I saw that tiny strip of wall way up near the ceiling, planted a portal on it, then put another one in the wall next to me and immediately fell for this trap. It took me five seconds to fall for this trap. I am telling you: I would never survive a science fiction/fantasy world if it were real. I would die in the first 20 pages every time.

Screenshot of the GLaDOS chamber room, where a bunch of neon confetti shoots into air from a giant hole in the center.

Look, I was just so happy that Wheatley was happy. I shouldn’t have felt this way. IT WAS IMMEDIATELY STOLEN FROM ME.

This game is not unfolding as I expected. I’m scared.

ANNOUNCEMENT: MARK PLAYS MASS EFFECT STARTS NEXT WEEK ON OCTOBER 3RD. HELL. YES.

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