Mark Plays ‘Dragon Age: Origins’: Hour 36

In the thirty-sixth hour of Dragon Age: Origins, things went worse than I expected, then better than expected, and then I think I just convinced Alistair to marry his brother’s surviving wife. what. If you’re intrigued by this, it’s time for Mark to play Dragon Age: Origins.

Hour Thirty-Six

Reminder: There will be no posts tomorrow or Friday. Happy Thanksgiving!

WELL, THIS DIDN’T GO AS PLANNED. That’s not to say it was a disaster. On the contrary! I think Roslin’s provided a way for there to be a definite support for Loghain’s opponent, and no one cool died! Awesome!

Here’s what happened:

• Yeah, that doesn’t look ominous at all. Right? THIS LOOKS LIKE A BAD IDEA.
• Oh, a room of doggies! No, Mabari, I just want to pet all of you. :(
• Well, this isn’t too difficult.
• Oh my god, THE TORTURER ROOM. WHAT THE FUCK.
• Well, I freed Oswyn! Man, he was sure ripped as hell for having been tortured/starved for so long. Was he forced to do pull-ups and push-ups for days on end??? Regardless, I have to go find his father in the hopes that he’ll support whomever I support.
• What the hell? This prisoner is basically wearing a thong, he’s babbling, and I’m confused. I ended up letting him go, and the game told me a quest was updated. What???
• OH. OH. THAT WAS REXEL FROM THE “MISSING IN ACTION” QUEST. Whoops! I forgot I had that quest still!
• Honestly, as soon as I got to that room with Arl Howe in it, I just started shouting, “I HATE YOUR FACE, I HATE IT SO MUCH, I JUST WANT TO MURDER YOU.” Ugh, please let me kill him.
• Well, that didn’t go too well. Luckily, Alistair was able to kill the last mage, but Arl Howe’s men completely annihilated the rest of my party. You know, this is a really fantastic element of gameplay. Sure, it can be overwhelming to take care of four characters at once, but that also means you basically have four lives all at once.
• I found someone named Irminric in another cell, and he was coming off of a lyrium addiction, so he wasn’t entirely coherent. Turns out he was one of the templars who went after Jowan. Yeah, remember him? Well, now I have to find his sister, Bann Alfstanna, and give her a ring. Apparently, she’ll support me in the Landsmeet if I do!
• HOLY SHIT, I FOUND A ROOM LITERALLY FULL OF TREASURE. THIS RULES. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHICH KEY OPENED IT. I WILL NOT QUESTION THIS.
• I freed Anora! Now it’s time to try and sneak out and get back to Arl Eamon’s estate! At least Anora is in a uniform. MAX CAMOUFLAGE.
• No, don’t go that way, there are too many red dots on the map.
• No, don’t go that way either.
• Oh, this is impossible.
• No, trust me, Anora was held against her will! I swear it!
• The conversation options gave me the chance to say, “Well, ask Anora yourself since she’s here!” This seemed like a terrible, terrible idea. Yeah, let’s just expose my secret companion!
• Oh my god, I have to fight like 15 DUDES ALL AT ONCE. Bless Morrigan’s Virulent Walking Bomb. It’s a goddamn treat. I just infected one dude on either side of the room in between using Roslin to attack the mages and archers. I TOTALLY RULED.
• I don’t know if this is intentional, but every single corpse in this estate had more money and health poultices than anywhere else in the game. Awesome!
• I escaped Arl Howe’s estate, but without Anora. Yeah, so as soon as the fight started? She ran away. She gave me no indication as to where she’d be headed. JUST GONE. POOF. That’s a good strategy, Anora. Thanks. Thanks for that.
• Before heading back to Arl Eamon’s place to tell him the news, I turned in “Notice of Termination” and “Missing in Action.” HELL YEAH, MORE MONEY.
• Oh, Anora went back to Arl Eamon! That’s… convenient. Like, really convenient. Hmmm.
• All right, so, that’s it, right? I won?
• No?
• Wait, something is wrong in the Alienage? My Alienage??? What the fuck did Loghain or Howe do??? (Hey, I get to go in the Alienage! Awesome!!!)
• Wait, Anora wants to rule??? I mean, yes, Alistair has zero experience ruling! The idea of a queen instead of a king is awesome! But this seems to come out of nowhere! Plus, Arl Eamon really wants Alistair to be king. Okay, this just got even more complicated than before.
• I ended up proposing a ridiculous idea: what if Alistair and Anora just got married? Even more surprising? I WAS ABLE TO CONVINCE THEM BOTH TO DO THIS IF NECESSARY. Oh my god, how awkward. But it’s in the name of peace! Right? Right?

Oh, please don’t let me regret this.

My Character Stats

Strength: 27+6
Dexterity: 27+12
Willpower: 22+2
Magic: 14+2
Cunning: 24+7
Constitution: 27+2

Heroic Stats

Kills: 629
Damage dealt: 147284
Friendly-fire: 0
Greatest damage dealt: 90
Contribution to party damage: 29
Hit rate: 87
Most powerful foe slain: Arl How FUCK YEAH I HOPE YOU ROT FOREVER
Injuries: 27 (Ow.)

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